Spankings for Christian Grey

It’s taken me a few days…okay a little over two weeks…to write this commentary about Christian Grey actor Jaime Dornan’s interview with Elle about his experience with Dominance and submission and his derogatory comments about those that embrace this diverse lifestyle and sexual orientation. I had hoped he’d make a retraction or apologize to the community; plus, I had better things to do on my holidays then address dorks.

Those of you that know me and have read prior interviews with me for Fox News Latino where I’ve been asked to comment on popular national events such as the break-up between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony and our infamous Anthony Wiener Twitter sex pictures know that I try to show a positive prospective to why people behave badly when sex and relationships are involved. However, Dorkan…I mean Dornan’s…discriminatory remarks to Elle magazine about the BDSM community has me taking the gloves off to give Spankings to Christian Grey actor, Jamie Dornan.

I find it appalling that an actor who’s being paid millions to represent a sexual lifestyle orientation would make such derogatory comments. Perhaps films should require their actors to sign contracts were the actors don’t discriminate against those who butter their bread. Or perhaps, Dorkan doesn’t know how to comport himself without cue cards and a camera. Then again, we can’t expect much from an underwear model, can you?

Dorkan…I mean Dornan’s comment to Elle, “I saw a dominant with one of his two submissives. I was like: ‘Come on guys, I know I’m not paying for this, but I am expecting a show.'”, illustrates his disrespect and lack of understanding of a sexual orientation, one he’s portraying. If he had respect, he’d understand that the Dominant and his submissives weren’t there to entertain him but were there to enjoy themselves and spend time with friends. Perhaps his recent rise to stardom has given him illusions of grandeur where he believes people are there to entertain him and he’s forgotten who the “actor” is and who gets paid to entertain.

As someone who embraces this sexual orientation and teaches individuals around the world about the truths associated with Dominance and submission, I take offense to Dorkan’s comments as they perpetuate a bias which leads to discrimination and bigotry. It makes me wonder if he would also go to a gay bar or shake hands with an African American and declare his need for, “…a long shower before touching either of them [wife and baby].”

I’m with Stephen Elliott from Rumpus, I invite anyone who believes that no man or woman should be discriminated against because of their sexual orientation (and yes, being Dominant or submissive is a sexual orientation) should boycott the movie, 50 Shades of Grey. At the very least, show your support against discrimination by boycotting opening day. Be sure to visit my website and let us know you’ve done so. Or write me and let me know of your support.

If Dornan or the producers of the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, wish to learn the truths about Dominance and submission, I invite them to attend BDSM Writers Con August 20-23 in New York City where they’ll discover that the BDSM community is made up of men and women who respect and care for each other….not to mention have the decency to show respect for those that follow other sexual orientations. Something the actor, and producers, have apparently failed to grasp. Maybe then their second movie in the trilogy won’t be plague with dry sex scenes and erroneous information about the D/s lifestyle. Dare I hope they actually get someone who knows what they’re doing on their movie set. Hey, I’m available!

Spankings for Christian Grey…and I’ll be sure to wash my hands afterward!

PS:  We won’t stop discrimination unless we stand up and comment when we see it, even in it’s subtle forms. Remember evil thrives when good men and women do nothing. If you’re an author, reader or D/s practitioner, BOYCOTT opening day of 50 Shades of Grey. If you’re really brave, hold up a sign in front of the movie theater or hand out information about what the BDSM really is. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) has wonderful flyers you can hand out that provide the Naked Truths about BDSM. Get a few hundred or more for you and your friends to hand out.

Live with passion,

Dr. Charley Ferrer
Clinical Sexologist & BDSM Advocate
Founder of BDSM Writers Con

America's Intimacy & BDSM Expert.
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Comments

Spankings for Christian Grey — 7 Comments

  1. To me his interview shows a total lack of forethought on his part. Boggles my mind that he would belittle the lifestyle that he is portraying in a movie. Honestly if he had issues with it then perhaps he should not have taken the role in the first place. Then again he probably cared more about his paycheck than any personal moral code.

    I attempted to read the series due to being asked to write a review. I never was able to finish the first due to the poor writing and can’t even give the books away. Not sure if it is because of the drool marks or what. Found it to be the best sleep ever just not comfortable waking up to one’s face planted in a book

    • Alice, we all work for a living and sometimes take on jobs that we don’t like to make ends meet. However with his claim to fame & the millions that come with it, it’s obvious he took this job for ulterior motives. He’s been quoted to saying he wishes he didn’t have to “tie up women” for a living. Perhaps the producers will grant his wish and find a more appropriate and honorable actor to portray Christian Grey next year.

      Though people say, Dorkan’s comments should be overlooked, would they still say that if Dorkan had referred a gay man or lesbian women? Definitely not. The Gay community would raise up in arms with advocates against “hate groups” beating down his doors.

      Remember the old adage: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Dorkan needs to keep his discriminatory comments to himself and stick to his scripts.

  2. This comment was written by Shoshanna Evers. We’ve added it here per her request.

    I read Dornan’s interview in Elle, and it was pretty awful of him to imply that those who practice BDSM are dirty or wrong (I totally agree with you that “being Dominant or submissive is a sexual orientation”). He sounded as if getting paid millions to tie up a beautiful woman is beneath him (but hey, someone’s gotta do it, right? Right?).

    So dumb of him, especially considering that people who are interested in the lifestyle will probably want to see the movie (where they will learn what not to do, I suppose) — but now they’ll walk away thinking there’s something wrong with themselves for being interested in the first place!

    I definitely want to see 50 Shades of Grey, though. I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the movie like a moth to a flame (and I devoured the first two books despite how incorrectly it depicted a healthy, non-abusive BDSM D/s relationship). Never read the third. Unfortunately, knowing that Dornan is actively disgusted by what he’s portraying is a complete buzz-kill for me. I don’t want to watch a man force himself to perform bondage scenes. I’d much prefer to watch a man who admitted in real life how hot it can be! I feel a little bad for his wife… 😉

    Shoshanna Evers

    • Shoshanna,

      Thanks for your comments. I don’t mind if people watch the movie or read the book. I’m just asked to show your support in fighting BDSM prejudices by boycotting opening day.

      Dorkan…I mean Dornan states repeatedly he wishes he didn’t have to tie up women for a living. Perhaps he should have more integrity and not have taken on a job that he felt so strongly against.

      Live with passion,

      Dr. Charley Ferrer

  3. I read Dornan’s interview in Elle, and it was pretty awful of him to imply that those who practice BDSM are dirty or wrong (I totally agree with you that “being Dominant or submissive is a sexual orientation”). He sounded as if getting paid millions to tie up a beautiful woman is beneath him (but hey, someone’s gotta do it, right? Right?).

    So dumb of him, especially considering that people who are interested in the lifestyle will probably want to see the movie (where they will learn what not to do, I suppose) — but now they’ll walk away thinking there’s something wrong with themselves for being interested in the first place!

    I definitely want to see 50 Shades of Grey, though. I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the movie like a moth to a flame (and I devoured the first two books despite how incorrectly it depicted a healthy, non-abusive BDSM D/s relationship). Never read the third. Unfortunately, knowing that Dornan is actively disgusted by what he’s portraying is a complete buzz-kill for me. I don’t want to watch a man force himself to perform bondage scenes. I’d much prefer to watch a man who admitted in real life how hot it can be! I feel a little bad for his wife… 😉

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