I imagine being a Dom would be an awesome experience. The thrill of having someone serve you in every way must be pretty incredible! *sigh* Do you feel this way?

From a Dominant’s perspective, yes, it is incredible to have your submissive or slave offer themselves and their service to you. As I jokingly tell my partner, “It quiets the voices”.  The world stops and peace descends. 😆

However, being a Dominant requires huge responsibility which may sometimes become overwhelming when you stop to consider that you not only have yourself to think of but your partner’s–submissive’s–mental health and physical well being to consider as well. At times, putting their needs before your own is required. This can take a toll.

If one or both of your are new to the power exchange, or if the submissive is battling their desire to surrender and the vulnerability that comes along with it, (not to mention your own insecurities and anxieties about being a Dominant); being the Dominant may seem like a lot of hard work.

As in any relationship, regardless of whether it’s D/s or vanilla, you reap what you sow. Thus, putting in the effort and working at creating a foundation that will help you both grow is essential.

I’m a major advocate for education for anyone in or planning to enter in the D/s lifestyle. Mentors are a tremendous help. Finding a great one will ensure your relationship flourishes and will help you avoid common mistakes. Also, I recommend a lot of reading and research. Review our resource page on books to help you get started. 

Live with passion,

Dr. Charley Ferrer

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