Interview with C.P. Mandara
December 14, 2014
How did you become interested in the dynamics of intimacy and BDSM?
I was born kinky! My Dominant tendencies were present as a child and continued to grow more pronounced as I reached adulthood despite not having a name for what I was feeling. I’ve always loved the vulnerability and surrender of my partner. Without it, my relationships didn’t last long or I spend more time arguing with my partners than loving them. Thus when I actually found the D/s community and discovered that there really was “nothing wrong with me” and I was merely swimming in the wrong pond, the world finally made sense to me. Yep, Louis Armstrong was singing in my ear, “What a wonderful world.”
What do you hope to achieve with BDSM Writers Con?
I have been teaching and advocating for sexual health and freedom for the past twenty years. Ten years ago, I developed the Dominance and submission Therapeutic Model to train psychologist and mental health workers better understand the D/s lifestyle. Over the years, I’ve privately Mentored hundreds of men and women as well as couples on accepting their Dominant or submissive desires and enhancing their relationships.
With BDSM Writers Con, it’s my hope that as authors become more educated in the D/s lifestyle they’ll portray it respect and dispel the plethora of myths and misconceptions that all to often leads to prejudices. In this way, authors also help decrease the discrimination faced by men and women who embrace the D/s lifestyle. Just as was done for the LGBT community. Imagine, twenty years ago, you rarely found a gay or lesbian romance (M/m or F/f). Now, M/m (male/male) love stories are all the rave and it’s straight women writing and buying them.
BDSM Writers Con is the ONLY conference geared specifically toward the education of authors and readers of Dominance and submission. We offer over thirty (30) workshops and live demos taught by BDSM Experts so you can learn what it is and isn’t. All our participants can attend our private BDSM Club night where we are invited to a live party. Our entire program is created to help authors and readers discover the various nuances of the D/s lifestyle. Most of all, I love the fact that since we encourage readers to attend, the readers will start demanding more accurate information from their favorite authors on the lifestyle.
Do you have any advice for women who are seeking to spice up their sex life with BDSM?
I recommend reading non-fiction books on Dominance and submission such as my book BDSM The Naked Truth, Warrior Princess submissive, SM 101, and many others which are mentioned in my book. You don’t have to adopt the entire lifestyle just to spice up your love life, you can dabble a little as you like.
I recommend anyone interested in the lifestyle attend BDSM Writers Con which allows you to take a “soft step” into the lifestyle and discover the various layers of kink that are available. We encourage couples who are curious to attend as well. Last year, a few of the women who attended by themselves have already signed up with their partners for BDSM Writers Con 2015. I love that over 80% of our participants return year after year as they discover something new each time. (Note: though BDSM Writers Con 2015 is our second year as a major conference, we originally started as a 3-day Intensive Workshop Series.)
As for playing and learning “how-to”, I always recommend looking up your local D/s organizations and taking a class or two especially if you want to try anything edgy or more extreme. Remember, you want to play with your partner and safeguard them from injury.
What are your thoughts on Pony-Play? (Have to ask… LOL)
I was delighted that your book, A Rough Ride was nominated as Pony Play is not often in the forefront of the lifestyle or discussed in the mainstream. I actually conducted a television show on Pony Play a few years ago where I interviewed Trainers and Ponies. I adored their playfulness and their inner beauty. I was even given a pony ride. You can still see the various interviews on YouTube. I believe Pony Play is just one more extension of our inner self and if it speaks to you than embrace it and educate yourself. Besides, who hasn’t ever wanted a pony?
Anything else you’d like us to know?
I’d love to have everyone join us for BDSM Writers Con August 20-23, 2015 in New York City. We’ll have over twenty workshops and live demonstrations on various aspects of BDSM as well as a night out at a private BDSM club. Plus, we’ll have several author/reader Mix & Mingles and our prestigious Golden Flogger Award ceremony. We welcome the novice, the experienced, and everyone else who’s curious about discovering what it’s all about.
For those that can’t attend in person, I’ve put together an amazing audio program with over 16-hour of education on Dominance and submission called BDSM Intensive. This CD program is Live & Uncensored. On sale now through January 1, 2015 for only $99 after that it’s regular price is $257. Why such a huge savings? Because I believe this amazing program will make a difference in your life and the value of your relationships whether they’re based on Dominance and submission or vanilla. And because I love giving gifts on New Years!
Thank you for having me on your website and that’s to all who read this interview. Sign up for our conference newsletter and receive a FREE Gift.
Dr. Charley Ferrer is a world-renowned Clinical Sexologist and BDSM Educator. She is the host and founder of BDSM Writers Con. She is the award winning author of BDSM The Naked Truth and thirteen other books on sexuality and self-empowerment. Dr. Charley hosts workshops throughout the US and Latin America. Visit her at www.BDSMwriterscon.com or www.DoctorCharley.com