Dr. Charley Ferrer’s opening comments at BDSM Writers Con 2014
Welcome…I’m thrilled to have you join me for the First Annual BDSM Writers Con 2014. Stand up — say hello to the person on either side of you. Behind and in front. These are the people who are going to share this amazing 4-day journey with you into the world of Dominance and submission.
Before we get started on this amazing journey, I want to discuss the power of your word.
Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the 4-agreements wrote, “Be impeccable with your word!”
He cautioned us to notice how our words affected others, how they can bring about change for better or worse. Being impeccable with your word is about being honest and having integrity and noticing the effects those words have on another.
I want to share with you how one individual’s words affected my life…and by association YOURS.
A few years ago I read a book…
…it was the first BDSM book I ever read that depicted a Dominant woman respectfully and with great empathy. This was especially important to me as I identify as a Dominant woman and it’s rare that I find a book that doesn’t portray me as a club owing ProDom servicing men.
The male submissive in this book was portrayed with such integrity and strength of character that I saw many of my own lovers—themselves submissive/slave men—in the hero.
The story was fantastic yet it was the respectful and realistic portrayal of the characters personalities that had me falling in love with them and the author.
It was the first time I felt compelled to write an author and congratulate HIM on an awesome book. And so you’ll understand my surprise when I discovered that Joey wasn’t a man at all. Let me share the first sentence of my letter, it began something like this:
“I’m really disappointment to find out you were a woman because I wanted to kidnap Jacob…” (Jacob was the hero in the story)
Yep…our very own Keynote Speaker, Joey W. Hill was the author of this book, The Vampire Queen’s Servant and a catalyst to why you’re all sitting here today.
I wanted to meet Joey and asked if I could interview her for my television show. She connected me with Stella Price who hosts Authors After Dark and Stella invited me to speak at AAD and help normalize BDSM for her participants. While there, I was asked by a publisher if I ever considered writing a book to help writers in the D/s genre.
I never thought of that. I was so busy trying to get the medical and mental health community to educate themselves about D/s so they could better serve their patients, the thought of teaching authors never occurred to me. Yet now that the seed was planted, the idea took a live of its own.
Within 6-months I had written BDSM for Writers to provide a basic and intermediate look into the psychology of why individuals participate in Dominance and submission and to give authors just starting in the genre, or perhaps already in it, a little assistance.
In my book, I provided various tidbits that authors needed to know to make their characters not only more realistic but credible as well. I even throw in information about how to train-a-slave and the various uses of humiliation and pain as well as a few exercises that would help them delve into the psychological aspects of submission and dominance. (My book, BDSM The Naked Truth was the version created for readers and the general public.)
While writing these books, it became clear to me that if I wanted change, I had to be willing to stand up and be counted, and so I came out of the Leather Closet completely. This put a strain on my romantic relationship as my partner would now be outted by association.
As for work, the college I taught at thought I might influence my students adversely and I was terminated; and several therapeutic colleagues felt I should be helping to “treat” my patients to overcome this “perversion” not encourage them to want more.
All these prejudices ONLY SERVED to encourage me to provide even more education which lead to more connections with writers and the general public. Within the year, 2011, I was conducting workshops for writers.
By 2012, I put together a 3-Day BDSM Intensive workshop for writers where we spoke about the intricacies of the power exchange, the psychological connections men and women make, and the ways writers could incorporate those truths into their stories.
In 2013, it became apparent that readers also wanted to learn about Dominance and submission and thus, we opened the doors to them as well.
This, our third year, expands the program from 3-days to four as we added a BDSM Book Fair and Between The Covers Erotica Reading Series hosted by Riverdale Avenue Books. I also persuaded a few BDSM Experts that I love and trust to provide you [participants] with even more information on this highly erotic and often misrepresented lifestyle. Plus, I invited experienced BDSM authors to also share their valuable knowledge.
Many of you have heard the adage, “there is no ONE WAY to explore BDSM.” And that is true…
HOWEVER, you will discover that there is an “individual’s way!”
Over the next 4-days, I will provide you with BDSM Experts and experienced authors who will show you “their” way of enjoying Dominance and submission. And from them, you will start to create your own way of interacting with others—creating your own way of embracing various aspects of this lifestyle.
Writers, I implore you to remember that some of your readers are discovering their desire for Dominance and submission for the very first time. Your words, finally gives voice to their yearnings. And through your words, you become the judge and jury of whether or not someone’s desires are normal or perverted. Thus, educating yourself–despite the fact that you write fiction—is imperative!
Readers—I challenge you to demand more from your favorite authors and discover new ones.
A few years ago I read a book…four years, later BDSM Writers Con is a reality!