How Kinky am I?

How kinky am I?

Everyone always asks, “how kinky am I?”. As if there is a quantitative scale to help prove that they are “kinky enough” or “not kinky at all”. In 2007, I developed the Kinky Scale to help students and individuals learn that the world of Dominance and submission is not a yes or no realm. It actually flows and retraces much like the waves on the shore. Much like its acronym states, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism) isn’t merely one thing but a combination of actions and behaviors. Just as Kinsey developed the model for determining your sexuality, the Kinky Scale helps provide a general idea of where you fall within the world of dominance and submission.

The Kinky Scale provides a level of interactions to help you determine where you fall within the world of dominance and submission (D/s). The average person falls within Levels 1 & 2 enjoying fantasies or interactions which allow them to exert control or be controlled by another as well as shows their relationship connection—as in the case of hickies. I would say that approximately 60% or more of the general population falls within this realm. And approximately only 10% fall in the Level of zero—totally vanilla with no desires, dreams or fantasies to engage in kink. (Vanilla is a term used to signify anything that is not considered “kinky” or within the realm of Dominance and submission.)

Ironically, in many cases, individuals who consider themselves “vanilla” are sometimes engaging in power exchange activities with their partner without realizing that is what the behavior is making D/s and vanilla activities merely a case of semantics. For example: playful spanking during sex or when joking around; pinning your partner when haven sex to all you/them to thrust harder, giving hickies to ensure others know this person “belongs to you” or “is taken”; all these activities fall into the realm of power exchange and D/s activities.

The other 30% of the population falls within the realm of Dominance and submission. Here again, there is a division within the kinky community according to the level of intensity and extremes the individual engages in when interacting in a BDSM or power exchange activity whether with themselves (as in the case of autoerotic asphyxiation) or with a partner. For this segment of the population, the Kinky Scale further subdivides into Levels 3, 4 and 5.

Kinky Scale: 0 to 6
0 — Totally vanilla, no desires nor dreams/fantasies
1 — Dreams/fantasizes about it but doesn’t interact
2 — Interacts in it, whether Dominant or submissive, on a compartmentalized basis
3 — Fully embraces BDSM as part of their relationship and over 50% of their
interpersonal/intimate relationships have a BDSM foundation/component
(mixing D/s & vanilla)
4 -– 24/7 Master/slave interactions with their partner
(over 75-80% of their interaction is D/s though vanilla interactions may be
mixed in.)
5 — Extreme BDSM practices (edge play)
6 — Criminal sadist

Within the world of Dominance and submission itself, among individuals who actually embrace the lifestyle and/or identify their sexual orientation and sexual identity as being within the various scope of a Dominant or a submissive personaliity, the majority of individuals fall within Level 3 (individuals who embrace the D/s lifestyle) and Level 4 (individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationship.) And a smaller percentage of individuals will identify as Level 5–edge players. In vanilla/mainstream terms, these individuals would be your “extreme sports” participants. Edge players engage in a more intense and riskier level of sadomasochistic activities.

As you can ascertain, the levels of Kink vary greatly among men and women fluctuating fluctuate between categories, increasing or decreasing in intensity and interactions based on their desire, their level of experience, and their interaction with a particular partner.

There are individuals who would be classified as Level 6 on the Kinky Scale. These are men and women who engage in non-consensual sadism or masochism and are in fact acting in a criminal manner. Although the actions and activities they perform with another may mimic BDSM activities, the difference between Level 6 offenders and the rest of the population on the Kinky Scale is the criminal and sociopathic behavior behind their actions, as well as their intent to cause harm to another person or animal. These offenders are engaging in non-consensual activity and criminal behavior and are NOT considered to be acting within the lifestyle of Dominance and submission though their actions may be classified as sadistic or masochistic in nature.

So just where do you fall within the Kinky Scale and with whom?

Live with passion,

Doctor Charley Signature Logo

Kinky Scale — term coined & copyright 2007 by Dr. Charley Ferrer

America's Intimacy & BDSM Expert.
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Comments

How Kinky am I? — 15 Comments

  1. My partner and I stumbled over here from a different website
    and thought I should check things out. I like what I see so i am
    just following you. Look forward to going over your
    web page yet again.

  2. Between a 4 and 5 with my husband. We are exploring more edge play on a frequent basis and am a collared slave, although my personal preference is more DS. The same goes towards my interactions with my subs.. Depending on the girl, we practice 4-5.
    I live it, love it and write it!
    breannahayse.com

  3. I’m a 5. Committed D/s relationship. Sub He expects me to continue to be my own woman while voicing my opinions and functioning a high powered woman and business owner, but he controls many/most aspects of our togetherness.

  4. I fall between 4 and 5. We live a 24/7 dynamic that is wonderful and completely rewarding. However, we also incorporate a great deal of edge play. Quite ok in my book. Your kink is not my kink and I’m ok with that.

  5. I just came from a book discussion with about a dozen friends. I followed the rules of courtesy and did not interrupt people out of turn, but I don’t think that marks me as submissive. I brought three books myself, which I described properly, and was happy that they stirred a lively response. I have confidence in my own opinions, but, as a person trained in science, recognize that I can be wrong; in fact, if I am not wrong at least once a day, I know that I am not taking enough challenges. As a person who has experienced concussion and other injuries, I do not like to see those things happen to others. But I do play rough on occasion. I take dishes to the kitchen and clean up after a party. I would not at all describe myself as being obedient, nor would my friends describe me that way. I like my views to prevail, but I want them to be right. If level 3 is just like everybody else, I am probably a little more than that. Am I the bull in the herd, the alpha male in the pack? Sometimes. Do I respond well if somebody else thinks I should be punished? Not so much. Do I truly wish other people well? Usually.

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