eCourse: BDSM for Writers – Introduction to BDSM
Lesson #1: WHAT IS BDSM?
It’s important to understand what BDSM actually stands for. BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Disciple, Sadomasochism. It is an umbrella that identifies power exchange relationships which have as it’s foundation an aspect of Dominance and submission. Individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationship do not consider themselves part of the BDSM mentality however do consider themselves part of the BDSM community.
The fact is that there are various levels of BDSM as there are people who participate in its activities. From the pleasure seeker who wants a little kink with his sex before he runs home to his wife/girlfriend, to the adrenaline junkie (major masochist) who wants to push himself as far as he or she can go. Think of this personality in vanilla terms as those individuals who are into extreme sports. There are those that actually embrace Dominance and submission as a way of life and those individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationships and live it 24/7. And we haven’t even discussed the subset that follows Gorean beliefs. Wow, talk about totally different. (No one ever mentions them. In this course, we will not discuss Gorean beliefs as they are based on the fiction novel, Chronicles of Gor, written by John Norman.)
Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not merely about whips and chains. In many instances, toys are never used as the individuals, both Dominant and submissive, are interested in “service” or in a spiritual and/or emotional connection.
It’s important to keep in mind that some Dominants do not use impact toys (whips, floggers, paddles, etc.) to enforce their dominance but use a psychological impact–even Fear Play—never once laying a hand on the submissive. There are also those Dominants also known as Masters and Mistresses who use humiliation and behavioral control in lieu of physical interactions.
Another important fact is that many BDSM relationships don’t involve sexual contact. I can continue to address the various differences within power exchange relationships; however, I’m sure you are getting the idea of how intricate and diverse the world of Dominance and submission is.
As for the idea that the submissive has the “greater control”…chuckles…well that is what we want them to believe! This is a widely debated topic within the community and the need to consider the concept of “consensual non-consensuality” as I like to call it comes into light. Once again, there are many diverse opinions as to who would fall under this category and the surrender of a submissive and a slave varies greatly as they’re NOT considered the same and therefore one (the submissive) has more “rights” than the other (the slave). Though when addressing the issue of control; yes, the submissive does have a significant degree of control in the relationships as they can always say, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” And thus, the relationship and/or BDSM activities end. Otherwise, this would then fall under an abusive relationship and BDSM is not about abuse nor domestic violence.
As for setting limits and negotiations of what is acceptable and what implements will be used (ie: paddles, whips, humiliation, sexual contact/penetration, etc.) this is typically conducted with someone you’re just meeting (pick-up play) or are learning to interact with and starting a relationship with. However, there are typically NO negotiations when someone is a slave or property and belongs to their Master or Mistress. At that point, the Owner decides what’s acceptable and what the slave or submissive will tolerate; which falls into the concept of “consensual non-consensuality”.
As writers, it’s paramount to keep in mind that some individuals may be experiencing their first taste of BDSM and Dominance/submission through your books. If they identify within this unique mindset and have no other clue as to what it’s about, your book becomes the judge of whether they’re “normal or not”. As for BDSM practitioners who read your book(s), personally, it’s always nice to see the men and women represented in a respectful light and the villains and pathological behavior distinguished from those of us who practice D/s with love, respect and honor.
The bottom line is it’s essential when writing your book(s) to do your research and talk to individuals in the lifestyle. Though a large aspect of the lifestyle is about sex and thrills and everything in between—more importantly—it is about the emotional and psychological connection individuals make with each other.
This workshop we will cover the basics of BDSM. You will be provided with weekly reading assignments from my book, BDSM for Writers. This workshop will cover only the Basics, Chapter 1 through 6. We’ll address the emotional and psychological connection men and women make; discuss the various levels within the community (as briefly mentioned above); and you’ll be provided with tips on character development, personality traits, and much more to help you create believable characters and scenes. I will also show you how to use the BDSM Checklist discussed in the book (Chapter 10) to help you breathe a more highly developed foundation to your D/s characters. To learn more advanced information about Dominance and submission, please continue onto BDSM Advanced eCourse once you have completed this course.
Assignment #1
Let’s look at what you already know or think in regards to Dominance and submission and the BDSM community. Please answer the questions posed below.
1. Why do you think people want to participate in these sexual and/or painful activities?
2. Is it all about the pain or sex? Do you think there is more to it? Please elaborate.0
3. What is it that you want to learn about BDSM and Dominance & submission?
Reading assignment:
Please read Chapters 1 & 2 in BDSM for Writers by Dr. Charley Ferrer
The book goes in-depth into the material we are covering here and will be an excellent resource when writing your BDSM novels. Should you wish to purchase a hard copy of the book, please use the following Coupon to receive a discount of $3.00. This coupon is for eCourse participants only. Please do not share it with friends.
Discount Coupon code: eCourse
Send all your assignment responses and comments to eCourse@doctorcharley.com.
Your assignments, questions, and comments will be responded to within 24-hours during normal business hours Monday through Friday. If you need immediate assistance, please feel free to contact me directly at the number listed below. I am available Monday through Friday 1:00 to 9:00 p.m. EST. and Saturdays 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. EST.
Live with passion,
Dr. Charley Ferrer
America’s BDSM Expert
718-916-4124
www.doctorcharley.com
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www.bdsmthenakedtruth.com
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Copyright 2011 – 2023 Dr. Charley Ferrer
All information in this eCourse is the intellectual property of Dr. Charley Ferrer. No portion of this eCourse can be used or forwarded to others without the expressed written permission of Dr. Charley Ferrer. Any questions should be directed to Dr. Charley Ferrer at doctorcharley@doctorcharley.com.