Taisha Demay joins BDSM Writers Con Check out what she has to say about BDSM and writing
What got you interested in writing BDSM?
I actually became fascinated with it because of another author who writes BDSM stories. And it always fascinated me as to why someone would trust another person so thoroughly, enough to enter into such an agreement.
What research or resources, if any, have you done into BDSM to make your stories realistic?
At the advice of my author friends, I consulted people in the lifestyle, some with over twenty years experience. I also attended events were there were live demonstrations and a question and answer period where I could ask pertinent questions about the what, why and how’s of the BDSM lifestyle, in order to make my stories more realistic. I also watched videos recommended by the Kinkster’s, joined online groups and consulted friends who are in the lifestyle.
What differences or difficulties, if any, do you see in writing D/s stories as opposed to your typical romance?
Aside from BDSM not being your typical romance, I felt I needed to clear up a lot of misconceptions regarding people in the lifestyle. Being a domestic abuse survivor I wanted to make sure that my readers knew that there’s a difference between being in a BDSM lifestyle and abuse. People that chose to enter into such an agreement don’t go in to it for the purpose of wanting to beat or abuse someone mentally and physically, let’s clear that up, which is why I felt it was important to do the proper research. In my opinion, BDSM isn’t about having control over someone or bossing another person around or even belittling them. It’s about a way that two or more individuals chose to become closer and have a more cohesive relationship. The people I know that are in the lifestyle are the most grounded and relaxed people I know. A typical romance is more cut and dry than a BDSM romance. I mean boy meets girl, they fall in love, yaddy-yaddah. In the BDSM lifestyle it isn’t that simple. The Dominant is asking the Submissive to trust them completely and vice versa. It’s a matter of putting their well being in somebody else’s hands, which is why communication is key. There are way too many misunderstandings in a normal vanilla relationship.
Why have you chosen to attend the BDSM Writer’s Con?
Aside from being a member of the Erotic Author’s Guild, I felt that a person could never learn too much regarding the lifestyle, there are so many aspects of it that even I don’t know about. That’s why I felt it was important to attend event’s such as these, to learn all I could.
What are you looking to get out of attending this event?
Aside from meeting my favorite authors. I expect to add to the things I already know and to make new friends and become more enlightened in regards to such a fascinating lifestyle.
Have you received any accolades since you’ve been published?
Not yet. Since I am fairly new to the industry, but with any luck, I will in the future.
Taisha Demay is the author of erotic and romantic suspense novels. She enjoys bringing complex and interesting characters to life on the page. Currently signed with Rhysworld Publishing, she is the author of three books: Through the Fire, Love, Truth and Consequences, and the upcoming: Love, Truth and Consequences: Playing Dirty
You can find Taisha on the web or write here at: firstname.lastname@example.org